Men Are Like Rubber Bands, Women Are Like Waves

John Gray in his Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus explains how Men and women are very different from one another.

Gray suggests that a man should hug his wife four times a day.

Surely sir. But first ask the deodorant and perfume companies to make their products cheaper and more effective.

To feel better Martians go to their 'caves' to solve problems alone. On the other side to feel better Venusians get together and openly talk about their problems. When a man is stressed he will withdraw into the cave of his mind and focus on solving a problem.

In this situation a women is not supposed to enter his cave. The cave man even practiced Cannibalism.

Women talk about problems to get close and not necessarily to get solutions.

Strange! !

In such situations a man is not supposed to provide solutions. Instead he had to listen just like a dumb ass.

We have another case. 'Men Are Like Rubber Bands'.

The writer explains that when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. So when they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and them getting close again. So a women should allow a man to expand fully. She should not try to prevent this pulling away.

Similarly women Are Like Waves

When a woman is feeling really good, she will reach a peak, but then suddenly her mood may change and her waves crashes down. After reaching the bottom suddenly her mood will shift and she will again feel good about herself. Automatically her wave begins to rise back. When a woman's wave rises she feels she has an abundance of love to give, but when it falls she feels her inner emptiness and needs to be filled up with love.

At this juncture telling a woman she shouldn't feel hurt is about the worst thing a man can say!!

So, in relationships, men pull back and then get close, while women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others.

Now, we have a very serious situation. When a wife is in her well and at the same time her Mr. Hubby is in his cave! So what happens when the wave and the rubber band occur around the same time?

Interference!

Everything depends on the extent to which the wave and the rubber band are in phase with respect to each other. If they are exactly in phase, they will add up alone. If they are exactly out of phase, they will cancel everywhere, producing no disturbance at all. Here, we are witnessing a fully constructive (destructive in real sense!) interference.

Gray explains 'A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent'

Why doesn't Gray right away recounts that a man always thinks that he has got a small stubborn stuff with which he is unable to satisfy her?

The Martian and Venusians languages had the same words, but the way they were used gave different meanings. To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations. Like…


Women: 'We never go out'
Men: 'That's not true. We went out last week'

Women: 'Everyone ignores me'
Men: 'I'm sure some people notice you'

Women: 'No one listens to me anymore'
Men: 'But I am listening to you right now'.

Stupid Martians. They must not have read Shakespeare's plays.

Men pride themselves on being experts, especially when it comes to fixing mechanical things, getting places, or solving problems. But what about doing a honors in English. For Martians, honors in English should be made compulsory so that they can understand the Shakespearean strained Venusians language.

'It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be pitied'.

Hmmm… sounds interesting!

Ladies read carefully! The secret of empowering a man is never to try to change him or improve him. The four magic words to support a man are 'It's not your fault'. When a women is expressing her upset feelings she can support a man by pausing occasionally to encourage him by saying 'I really appreciate your listening and if this sounds as he I'm saying it's your fault, that's not what I mean. It's not your fault'.

Just see the change. He'll linger around you waving his tail like a tamed dog.

There are so many differences between men and women.

Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding. She needs caring and he needs trust. She needs understanding and he needs acceptance. She needs respect and he needs appreciation. She needs devotion and he needs admiration. She needs validation and he needs approval. She needs reassurance and he needs encouragement.

If these guys have so many differences then why don't they just leave? And go back to their respective planets? At least the animals will live in peace. They can't. If they do so who will buy John Gray's 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus'? Of course bloggers like me who copy great writers and in return castigate their work.

Thought Generator

Sitting by the window is my favorite pastime while traveling by train. The platform is a place where I find people, people from different races, castes, religions & status. Everyone carries thoughts (luggage too, of course). They have different purposes. Some travel. Some sell. Some bid farewell to their friends and relatives. Some beg. Some have jobs. Most of them look busy.

I see the world through my eyes. For me only those things happen which take place in my sphere of knowledge. In my presence. Or which I see in the television or which I hear. For me all other incidents never happen. As long as I’m alive, the world is for me. For my sake. With my death, my world will die. I won't be able to hear. I won't be able to speak. I won't be able to think. I won't be able to feel. For me everything, the whole world, will die. (Or maybe I’ll talk, hear, speak, think and feel. But I’m sure that people of this world will definitely not 'feel' me)

In the same way every person has his own world. His people. His property. His thoughts. So every person is a world in himself. But everybody's world differs from one another's.

A person on a platform, whom I get to see only for an instant, has his own world. I wonder what his world is like?

If i stop a villager to tell him that white light consists of all the possible colors which in turn are due to the different wavelengths. What will be his reaction? He may just take a scary and puzzled look at me and leave.

Now, if I stop a young man who walks like 'Mithun da' chewing 'paan’ or ‘gutka' having a hair cut like Sunjay Dutt in his older movies. And if I tell him that Light travels with a speed of 3 * 10^5 km/sec. Proxima Centauri is the nearest star to our earth other than the Sun. It takes 4 long years for the light to reach our planet. I don't know if anything will enter his 'bheja'.

How many people know that our Earth is a planet revolving a star known as Sun which is among the billion and billion other stars making a galaxy known as the Milky Way. Our galaxy is a member of the Local Cluster of galaxies, which includes the Andromeda galaxy and several closer dwarf galaxies, such as the Large Magellanic Cloud. The Local Cluster is one of about 100 clusters that form the Local Supercluster of galaxies. The Local Supercluster and the supercluster consisting of the clusters Hydra and Centaurus are all moving toward an exceptionally massive region called the Great Attractor.

Even some educated people have no knowledge of such facts. Why? They must have never known what exactly they studied. They are literate, not learned.

Strangly (sadly at the same time) I find many guys, studying with me who are concerned with their own world. They don't have the thirst for knowledge. They never think of anything other than themselves, Orkut and the world they see around - like a frog in a well which thinks that there is nothing other than the well - kupamandukam.

Lucky me to have roommate like Bronz with whom I share my knowledge and ideas..

Inevitably, I'm sure that their must be people who on seeing me, would think "does this black & short prick know that there is something known as Relativity?”

Time

World is like a battle between life and time. The army of people moves on and on, many of the soldiers die but their fellow mates march forward.

Same way friends & relatives, our own people, very near and dear, leave us one by one. But we march forward fighting with time. But the endless army of time never bows before you. You will never see victory. You leave your successors behind to fight the way you did.

The fight goes on and on and on..

Just Blasting!!

There is a sloka in Sanskrit i read when I was in +2. It says that character of a person is somewhat like water. When we boil water, the temperature increases but after a certain time the hot water again cools down to room temperature.

In the same way people change their behavior immediately after getting hurt. They take so many resolutions. But as soon as they get over with it, they resume their old style of living. I think learning from our past is a very difficult process.

But people learn. It may not necessarily the exact amount what 'they should' but a little less then that. In the case of boiling water it is very true that if left undisturbed hot water cools down to room temperature. But the salt dissolved in it breaks down.

The hardness in water is caused due to the presence of soluble salts like bi-carbonates, chlorides and sulphates of calcium and magnesium.

On boiling water we have the following reactions:

Ca (HCO3)2 - CaCO3+ H2O + CO2­
Mg (HCO3)2 - MgCO3 + H2O + CO2­

Ca and Mg carbonates can be removed simply by filtration.

So it is not the same water. It has gone through some chemical changes. The salts dissolved in it are removed. The hardness vanishes. So people also change. They change their behaviors. They learn. I have learnt too. But as I said earlier not the exact amount what I should but lesser than that.

Here one thing I forgot to mention that the hardness of water is of two types! Temporary hardness and permanent hardness. Temporary hardness can be removed easily by boiling when bi-carbonates are decomposed to insoluble carbonates as we have seen earlier. But permanent hardness, which is due to the presence of chlorides and sulphates of calcium and magnesium, cannot be removed by boiling. Here we have a reason. Some of the characters of a person can be changed, not all. Character of a person largely depends upon his genes. He acquires some characters from the locality he lives at, some from the society and some from the people with whom he spends most of his time.

We have different methods of treating water, like sedimentation, coagulation, filtration, sterilization etc. But unfortunately we don’t have similar solutions for changing/improving/or getting rid the characters of a man. The total change of self is impossible.

So I conclude by saying that I was, I am, and I’ll remain a nut:-)