ambrosia

Our dabbawala took leave for a month. So, he surprised us by idlis embedded with fried potatoes!!

This reminded me the nocturnal 'night-canteen' of boys’ hostel which stays open throughout the night and servers some of the weirdest foods on the planet!

Here's a list of some of them:

-> Poach Poha (My favorite; Poha is a staple food of Maharastra. So, this cuisine served with a Poached egg on it!)

-> Hybrid Poha (Poha spiced with eggs and a poached egg on it)

-> Anda Poha(Poha with eggs)

-> Tushar Pao (a super senior named Tushar, once suggested the canteenwala to use malaai and potatoes with bun; the canteenwala named it Tushar pao!)

-> Anda Dhosa (dhosa served with an omelet on it!)

-> Anda Parantha (a cousin of egg roll)

->Anda Uttapam (similar to Anda Parantha)

Some of the above mentioned cuisines are also available at the Tapirs (jhopri motels!) outside the campus premises. They are the favourite haunts of hostelers for smoking and eyeing girls heading towards college. Babla, Anil bhav and Santosh are the famous ones. They are so popular that their fans have created communities at Orkut


These weird foods are the products of hungry and crazy hostelers, who, out of their monotonousness gave birth to such aptitudes.


During the papers we often used to visit the night canteen. It is said that engineering students study only before examination. It's like "dine ghum ratay jaga.. kukurrer moton owostha". This means sleeping during the day and staying awake during the night. .. personifying a dog!

In the absence of dabbawala we crowned ourselves as cooks! [Here, 'we' portends me and Dharma. Arnab's outta station and the jumping-ass Srikant rarely gets home.] Our gas cylinder has gone empty and so we are using a electric heater abandoned by a senior. On the first day Dharma made ‘Chicken Masala’. The other day he decided to prepare Kichari. The heater was old and so its coil broke again and again due to over heating. However, Dharma lost no hope. He kept on fastening it, every time it broke. Maybe a 20 times! Hats off to his patience and to his 'Birbal ka khichari'.

For the next few days we ordered food from a nearby restaurant but cleaved to soups and noodles which are less cumbersome to prepare. When the heater showed no signs of life, we boiled Top Raman using immersion heater!

Dharma is a master cook. So, i kept myself away from the stove. I did the other works like cutting the vegetables and washing the dishes. Last winter we purchased a pack of three cheap dish-washing bars which are exasperatingly wear proof! A single bar witnessed a whole year! I love effacing its existence. In the course of its usage, a hole has developed into it. This is how the abraded soap looks like!

Our new dabbawala is a lively guy. He says, "Bhaiya aaj kheer aur pulao laya hoon. Garam-garam hai, kha lijiyega. Maza aajayega!"

the womEn i love..

Here, I came up with two of the most significant physiognomies of a woman. I have not included the others for reasons indefinable. No comments please!

It is said that to love someone one need not necessary have reasons.

..in love with Jenee

The ass which keeps the world jiggling..

My hips don't lie!!

Cellphone or Bombshell ?!!

There's a big hullabaloo all over about the Nokia-branded BL-5C batteries. My phone is also powered with the same battery model. It is now figured out that there are about 300 million BL-5C batteries in use. Out of which, about 46 million batteries manufactured by Matsushita Battery Industrial Co. Ltd. of Japan between December 2005 and November 2006 are alleged as defective.

I checked out mine with the Nokia website by entering the 26-character identification number from the back of the battery. It got like scrutinizing university/board results. My heart pumped faster as the page went on loading. At last the page opened and the message "Your battery may be replaced" was displayed. I was disappointed a bit. However, the thought of being a part of the 46 million, allured me. The use of 'may' raises thousand questions. Maybe 'may' is used to show that the battery which comes out at a price of about 750 bucks is an ex gratia from Nokia!

Anyway, after verifying mine, I checked out my friends'; a dozen more. None of them were defective. Unlike me, they were unlucky. Or perhaps Nokia is pleased with me. After all I’m a big fan of its products. I'm the lucky charm!

Nokia is the largest manufacture of cell phones in the world with a wide range of models. Credulous people are flooding Nokia service and sale centers with different queries. People are apprising that it's like carrying a pinned out hand grenade in ones pocket! Even the media is exaggerating this issue. However, the company isn't using words like explode, blast or the like. "Dislodge" is the word they are comfortable with!

Though, only 100 incidents approximately have occurred, that too only while charging the phone, it's always wise to take precautions. I used to keep my phone in the left front pocket of my trouser. Now, i started to keep it in the back pocket! After all I don't wanna loose my procreativeness. Ma ham would definitely endure such exertions.

My family members asked me to purchase a new battery or else to keep the phone switched off all the time! Whereas my friends suggested me to keep it in the kitchen or toilet while charging! They scream on me, "stay away you unpredictable chancy bomb"!

These days I’m charging the phone only during the night. Nowadays it's missing out on the warmth of my pillow. I keep it in a corner of the room!

The company wants its lucrative genius back. The website carried this message: "To ensure proper disposal, all recipients of a replacement battery hereby agree to return the old battery in the envelope provided".

Surely boss. Who would like to ramble with a erratic 'bomblet' in their pockets!

I can't stay away from my phone. It's a part of my life. It's a amalgam of essential elements. Things ranging from photography to music, and games to internet; it has everything. I've about 90 softwares installed in it! Even this blog's also written using the same phone. I named it Doppelganger; and the memory card as "Mnemosyne", the Greek goddess of memory. No, i haven't named the battery yet! Hmmm.. how's Bombshell?!

Independence Day

India is celebrating its 60th independence day today. When I was in school it was compulsory for every student to attend the parade.

But here at college I have attained the flag hosting ceremony for the first time in my college life. On the previous day I laughed on hearing about it. The first question on ma mind was that if there would be any such celebrations.. because I never heard of it!

All the lecturers, professor, lab assistants and the administrative staff were present. Students? Ah, a handful! That too only the members of NSS (National Service Scheme). They were present only to grab the one percentage marks, the university is gonna award for all such activities. I'm also a member of NSS but I am not concerned about the marks. I went to see what actually happens at the collage on this day.

Happy Friendship Day!!

10 past 12 midnight. 05/08/2007. Parita calls up to wish friendship day. I told her that i haven't even wished my roommates!

Just before the call, our ninnies at the girls-hostel were celebrating the eve by cutting cakes and tying friendship bands. Around the same time about 200 meters away three young men were having port wine and cashew nuts! That's how men celebrate..

What's goin on?

Note: This is a cc of a scrap I wrote to a friend when she asked me of the latest happenings.




"What's happening?" That's an eerie question! These days everything seems to be happening
to me
for me
and because of me!

Here's the list..


One

I have told you about the marriage ceremony, right? My friend's brother's at Bangalore? What happened is; till that incident, we, all our group members, were good guys: decorous kids. Then it so happened thaaat, this guy's family members and all the baraaties figured out of our evil activities: smoking, boozing and the like. Though, some of our group members don't smoke and drink, still it matters a lot.

The funny thing is that my friend's father arranged for the drinks at the Secandrabad station. Boozing in the train?! Yes, we were tippling in the train!

Later, at the reception, back home, the groom ordered half a bar of drinks as a votive offering! We were pleased. Some of us toped and spoiled the party ambiance!


Two

My friends, the bride and the groom asked me to throw a party. Why? "Yaar, you have become AC". What is AC? AC bole toh ‘all clear’. I have cleared all my papers. Sounds funny nah? Party; not for distinction, not even for scoring good percentage.. only for clearing all the subjects! "Of course! There should to be a festivity. After all I have cleared all my papers at one go! I did so for the first time after entering into engineering!



Three

Last week while traveling back from Balaghat by train I made eyes at a girl. It was like love at first sight. She saw me and I saw her. In fact the word saw doesn't fit here. We 'noticed' each other. The game began.

Our eyes met. And the circuit was just completed. Now their sole purpose was to see one another. Oh my God! They had the depths of the cosmos. They were the oceans where my beautiful mind roved like an incessant ship. Geniuses say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However her beauty was in her own eyes. They were the windows to her eternal beauty.

It was not a dream, but factual. Our train arrived to its last stoppage which is also the place where I was to get down. Incidentally, she was also to get down at the same place, which of course I knew, as she didn't get down even at second last station. This bestowed me with an opportune moment. When the train stopped, all the travelers started to get off. I was sitting confused, thinking of my next move. Still i was not sure, what's on her mind. I looked one more time. Our eyes met again. This time giving a message. I decided to look forward. I took my pen out and wrote my mobile number on a piece of paper.

I was the last passenger to get down from the coach, she being the second last. It was evening and everybody on the platform was moving toward the exit. I was looking for the right moment; the correct instance when I would give her my number. In the next moment I found myself following her. Girls do have sixth sense. They can figure out who's glancing at them and who's keeping an eye. She moved onto the foot-over bridge. After making it to the middle of the stairway, she turned to see if I was still following her. I was unable to read her expressions; whether she thought me a enthusiast or a tapori. I followed her to the length of the bridge. My heart was pounding. I strode to her side. She looked toward me. I asked her if she can give me 2 minutes. I was reading her expressions. She gave a dreaded look strained with trepidation and said "na baba!”

I heard about a similar incident where the girl gives the boy a mirror before making her way out. Hope it wasn't the case here. Outlandishness and apprehensiveness may be the reason. Whatever it may be, this is only a part of the story.

Let me tell you the aftermath of this event. Event? No, catastrophe! Anyway, her eyes were so effulgent that they dazzled me. They must have radiated rays of free electrons, over charging me.. 'cuz that whole day i was groping with a glowing bulb in each eye!



Four

On 25th we were celebrating my roommate cum friend's b'day.. and I bore the brunt of his birthday bumps! They drubbed the hell out of my ass!


Five

Day before yesterday our college took us on a small tour.

I always consider girls as ninnies. Most of them at least. They are only and only good at caring, organizing, minding and managing, where men fail. Men and women are complements to each other. Nature made them that way. Even if I deem that 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', there should be always a limit to their bird-brained innovative innocence.



At the lake we were skipping stones and one of my friends, a gal, asked me "Where have you learned this from.” God! If I had a gun! Shoot her? No, I would have shot myself!

Later, those rascals made me carry the cooking utensils; and while on the last leg of our trip, our bus was restrained by a group of paramilitary personnel. They averted our further journey, fearing naxalites' coercions. Bus aur kya, aadha raasta se he waapas aana pada.

Six

This is a movie week. College ain’t happening. Movies replaced college. I saw Partner, Traffic signal, Pirates Of The Caribbean 3, American Pie 1, 2 & 3, Déjà Vu. We (bole toh me and my roommates) also saw Telugu movies named Aarya, Boys and Pokiri.


Seven

Last night our dabbawala didn't come. We went out for dinner. At the restaurant my friend amused me, and I laughed. He asked me to give him a five. My right hand was busy shoving butter roties. I forwarded my left hand. He said "I asked you for a five, not for a six".

This isn't funny? Ah! That wasn't a joke either!

A little later a man with his beautiful wife and two cute kids got in. My friend hissed that, once this man, in a drunken state, told him that he often visit brothels. As soon as I heard this I found him phlegmatic. That's really a hideous work! At least he should show little decency by not announcing it all over. Such guys deserve to be striped naked in the public!



Eight

Our university results are out this morning. I'm glad to hear that my roll number is there in the morning news paper.

I finished my Poha and 'am now scraping you.

Even this wasn't interesting? Eh?

Still there are loads of other things to tell you. Like.. Oof!! Meri kamarr!!

My Inamorata

We were on a picnic. Way home, we had to cross Sawarnarekha. I saw the other buddies crossing a shallow offshoot. In an obfuscated state, i took the other option; i thought that's an easy route, climbing a sand dune and then swimming a narrow but deep channel. Heavens! I know no swimming!

I climbed on to the dune and was startled to see what lay next. It was a scene i'll never forget. I saw my inamorata. She was enjoying a bath surrounded by a number of women companions. The scene reminded me of movies featuring princesses being consorted by a number of maids. I got to see Her bare back. The blond skin dazzled me for a moment. I made sure not to fall in her line of sight. I moved into the water. It wasn't deep. But as i proceeded the depth increased. Even now, i am surprised about my surprised state of getting drowned. I know not whether the pearly gate was getting opened or the hell's bells were ringing, but at my last hours i saw Her nigh to me. Her green eyes lured me like a Naiad. It seemed to me as if She's playing with me, like that cat which plays with a mouse before brutally making it its meal.

My eyes started to close; I felt the ethereal life-giving kiss. A kiss that was greater than life. I rose with life like a Snowbell. I opened my eyes only to see Her face reversed above me. She turned the death bed into the sand bed of Sawarnarekha.

Sweetheart, I will be living the rest of my life with just this sweet phantasmagoria!

Men Are Like Rubber Bands, Women Are Like Waves

John Gray in his Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus explains how Men and women are very different from one another.

Gray suggests that a man should hug his wife four times a day.

Surely sir. But first ask the deodorant and perfume companies to make their products cheaper and more effective.

To feel better Martians go to their 'caves' to solve problems alone. On the other side to feel better Venusians get together and openly talk about their problems. When a man is stressed he will withdraw into the cave of his mind and focus on solving a problem.

In this situation a women is not supposed to enter his cave. The cave man even practiced Cannibalism.

Women talk about problems to get close and not necessarily to get solutions.

Strange! !

In such situations a man is not supposed to provide solutions. Instead he had to listen just like a dumb ass.

We have another case. 'Men Are Like Rubber Bands'.

The writer explains that when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. So when they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and them getting close again. So a women should allow a man to expand fully. She should not try to prevent this pulling away.

Similarly women Are Like Waves

When a woman is feeling really good, she will reach a peak, but then suddenly her mood may change and her waves crashes down. After reaching the bottom suddenly her mood will shift and she will again feel good about herself. Automatically her wave begins to rise back. When a woman's wave rises she feels she has an abundance of love to give, but when it falls she feels her inner emptiness and needs to be filled up with love.

At this juncture telling a woman she shouldn't feel hurt is about the worst thing a man can say!!

So, in relationships, men pull back and then get close, while women rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others.

Now, we have a very serious situation. When a wife is in her well and at the same time her Mr. Hubby is in his cave! So what happens when the wave and the rubber band occur around the same time?

Interference!

Everything depends on the extent to which the wave and the rubber band are in phase with respect to each other. If they are exactly in phase, they will add up alone. If they are exactly out of phase, they will cancel everywhere, producing no disturbance at all. Here, we are witnessing a fully constructive (destructive in real sense!) interference.

Gray explains 'A man's deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent'

Why doesn't Gray right away recounts that a man always thinks that he has got a small stubborn stuff with which he is unable to satisfy her?

The Martian and Venusians languages had the same words, but the way they were used gave different meanings. To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic license to use various superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations. Like…


Women: 'We never go out'
Men: 'That's not true. We went out last week'

Women: 'Everyone ignores me'
Men: 'I'm sure some people notice you'

Women: 'No one listens to me anymore'
Men: 'But I am listening to you right now'.

Stupid Martians. They must not have read Shakespeare's plays.

Men pride themselves on being experts, especially when it comes to fixing mechanical things, getting places, or solving problems. But what about doing a honors in English. For Martians, honors in English should be made compulsory so that they can understand the Shakespearean strained Venusians language.

'It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be pitied'.

Hmmm… sounds interesting!

Ladies read carefully! The secret of empowering a man is never to try to change him or improve him. The four magic words to support a man are 'It's not your fault'. When a women is expressing her upset feelings she can support a man by pausing occasionally to encourage him by saying 'I really appreciate your listening and if this sounds as he I'm saying it's your fault, that's not what I mean. It's not your fault'.

Just see the change. He'll linger around you waving his tail like a tamed dog.

There are so many differences between men and women.

Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding. She needs caring and he needs trust. She needs understanding and he needs acceptance. She needs respect and he needs appreciation. She needs devotion and he needs admiration. She needs validation and he needs approval. She needs reassurance and he needs encouragement.

If these guys have so many differences then why don't they just leave? And go back to their respective planets? At least the animals will live in peace. They can't. If they do so who will buy John Gray's 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus'? Of course bloggers like me who copy great writers and in return castigate their work.

Thought Generator

Sitting by the window is my favorite pastime while traveling by train. The platform is a place where I find people, people from different races, castes, religions & status. Everyone carries thoughts (luggage too, of course). They have different purposes. Some travel. Some sell. Some bid farewell to their friends and relatives. Some beg. Some have jobs. Most of them look busy.

I see the world through my eyes. For me only those things happen which take place in my sphere of knowledge. In my presence. Or which I see in the television or which I hear. For me all other incidents never happen. As long as I’m alive, the world is for me. For my sake. With my death, my world will die. I won't be able to hear. I won't be able to speak. I won't be able to think. I won't be able to feel. For me everything, the whole world, will die. (Or maybe I’ll talk, hear, speak, think and feel. But I’m sure that people of this world will definitely not 'feel' me)

In the same way every person has his own world. His people. His property. His thoughts. So every person is a world in himself. But everybody's world differs from one another's.

A person on a platform, whom I get to see only for an instant, has his own world. I wonder what his world is like?

If i stop a villager to tell him that white light consists of all the possible colors which in turn are due to the different wavelengths. What will be his reaction? He may just take a scary and puzzled look at me and leave.

Now, if I stop a young man who walks like 'Mithun da' chewing 'paan’ or ‘gutka' having a hair cut like Sunjay Dutt in his older movies. And if I tell him that Light travels with a speed of 3 * 10^5 km/sec. Proxima Centauri is the nearest star to our earth other than the Sun. It takes 4 long years for the light to reach our planet. I don't know if anything will enter his 'bheja'.

How many people know that our Earth is a planet revolving a star known as Sun which is among the billion and billion other stars making a galaxy known as the Milky Way. Our galaxy is a member of the Local Cluster of galaxies, which includes the Andromeda galaxy and several closer dwarf galaxies, such as the Large Magellanic Cloud. The Local Cluster is one of about 100 clusters that form the Local Supercluster of galaxies. The Local Supercluster and the supercluster consisting of the clusters Hydra and Centaurus are all moving toward an exceptionally massive region called the Great Attractor.

Even some educated people have no knowledge of such facts. Why? They must have never known what exactly they studied. They are literate, not learned.

Strangly (sadly at the same time) I find many guys, studying with me who are concerned with their own world. They don't have the thirst for knowledge. They never think of anything other than themselves, Orkut and the world they see around - like a frog in a well which thinks that there is nothing other than the well - kupamandukam.

Lucky me to have roommate like Bronz with whom I share my knowledge and ideas..

Inevitably, I'm sure that their must be people who on seeing me, would think "does this black & short prick know that there is something known as Relativity?”

Time

World is like a battle between life and time. The army of people moves on and on, many of the soldiers die but their fellow mates march forward.

Same way friends & relatives, our own people, very near and dear, leave us one by one. But we march forward fighting with time. But the endless army of time never bows before you. You will never see victory. You leave your successors behind to fight the way you did.

The fight goes on and on and on..

Just Blasting!!

There is a sloka in Sanskrit i read when I was in +2. It says that character of a person is somewhat like water. When we boil water, the temperature increases but after a certain time the hot water again cools down to room temperature.

In the same way people change their behavior immediately after getting hurt. They take so many resolutions. But as soon as they get over with it, they resume their old style of living. I think learning from our past is a very difficult process.

But people learn. It may not necessarily the exact amount what 'they should' but a little less then that. In the case of boiling water it is very true that if left undisturbed hot water cools down to room temperature. But the salt dissolved in it breaks down.

The hardness in water is caused due to the presence of soluble salts like bi-carbonates, chlorides and sulphates of calcium and magnesium.

On boiling water we have the following reactions:

Ca (HCO3)2 - CaCO3+ H2O + CO2­
Mg (HCO3)2 - MgCO3 + H2O + CO2­

Ca and Mg carbonates can be removed simply by filtration.

So it is not the same water. It has gone through some chemical changes. The salts dissolved in it are removed. The hardness vanishes. So people also change. They change their behaviors. They learn. I have learnt too. But as I said earlier not the exact amount what I should but lesser than that.

Here one thing I forgot to mention that the hardness of water is of two types! Temporary hardness and permanent hardness. Temporary hardness can be removed easily by boiling when bi-carbonates are decomposed to insoluble carbonates as we have seen earlier. But permanent hardness, which is due to the presence of chlorides and sulphates of calcium and magnesium, cannot be removed by boiling. Here we have a reason. Some of the characters of a person can be changed, not all. Character of a person largely depends upon his genes. He acquires some characters from the locality he lives at, some from the society and some from the people with whom he spends most of his time.

We have different methods of treating water, like sedimentation, coagulation, filtration, sterilization etc. But unfortunately we don’t have similar solutions for changing/improving/or getting rid the characters of a man. The total change of self is impossible.

So I conclude by saying that I was, I am, and I’ll remain a nut:-)